Slide  - Michelle Congdon

What the ever loving mother fucking hell was that?

Okay, let me start with this: Grrrr and a thousand halfs.

*Okay, whew, deep breath. *

So, (and I swear I'll get to the point in a minute, okay?) a few years ago, I dnf'ed this book where the H and h are running through a forest away from flesh eating zombies, when they decide to stop and have sex.
Seriously, they have mother fucking zombies after them, they are literally running for their very lives, and these zombies plan on not just killing them but actually eating the flesh right off their fucking bones, and they decide the best way to do save themselves is to stop in the middle of a zombie ridden forest and get it on?!!!

It boggles the mind, right? It just leaves you wondering, who the hell would think that was in any way, a good idea? There's big bad evil villains on your ass ( not in a good way) so that's the perfect time to get laid? how stupid do they think we romance readers are?! That as long as the H and h kiss, and ( depending on if your looking for it or not) occasionally screw like rabbits, that we'll just ignore that total and utter lack of common fucking sense?? Well, that's what the majority of Slide reminded me of.

There are no zombies, no death threats, not even a single fucking tree, but the common denominator? The absolute lack of sensible reasoning.

I was going to include a list, of all the dumbass things the characters thought or said but the list got too damn long. With the exception of a small bit in the middle, there was an almost constant string of comments made, or decisions reached that either contradicted themselves, or just left me with a sense of what-the-fuckery. And I was just so damn irritated at the heroine, starting with her fucked up  BFF's, her's is a douche, to being waaaay to flirty with a guy right after her( absentee) father dies, to the belief that the paparazzi only lie about her (the h), and no one else, and everything they say about anyone else should be take a a gospel, to making the H apologize when he didn't do a damn thing wrong....oh wait, but the hero! He has sex with his therapist ( to be clear, it's not not while with the h, so no cheating) . Sooo many things wrong with this. First we don't know where she came from, or who hired her ( is she the same one the family hired? If so, when he went pro, wouldn't they, the Yankees, have looked at her credentials?) Or, second if she was a real therapist wouldn't she be worried about, oh I don't know this thing called the standard of ethics? Or more importantly losing her license? And why the hell, did the Hero think it would be perfectly okay to screw her, and then stop screwing her, and then actually tell her his secrets? Deep, dark ones? What kind of moron would think that was a good idea?

Okay, another deep breath. And another grrr and a thousand halfs.

2 stars, I don't know why or how I finished it ...(maybe the very lack of a sex scene with Imminent death by zombie only moments away, made it more palatable) but I did, so for that alone it gets an extra star. Having said that, Michelle Congdon has potential! (so much so, that I'll probably read the book from the H's pov, despite my seemingly endless frustration with this book) , she just seriously needs a proofreader to point all the stuff that doesn't make sense, that needs fixing, that goes against stuff that was said earlier, to filling in plot holes, etc etc etc.... Or if she has one, a better one. Or maybe multiple proofreaders, and editors because seriously, the story issues I mentioned, are only the tip of the fucking iceberg, and I didn't even get to all the typos!

On a side note, if you're looking for a sports romance, this one doesn't really count. Yeah the hero is a ball player, but initially he seems to have way to much time on his hands, and there's really only one baseball scene, iirc.

Also there's a lot of sex scenes. This usually doesn't bother me, but at one point I did think this was erotica, rather then the NA it's billed as. ...there were just so many fully detailed scenes! I started skimming them after I got to the halfway point.

And another side note, well more of a disclaimer, really: I am presently, very Very tired. Freaking exhausted, I can barely stay awake... But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep til I got this out  (so, you're welcome) .... I don't think my sleep deprived state would've changed the content of my review, -although maybe there'd have been less cursing,- but please keep that in mind, before letting it influence you.

And any mistakes/grammar issues are more than likely a result of said state ( and a maybe a little bit of laziness)....I'd like to tell you I'll come back and fix it in the morning, but for the sake of being honest, I should probably mention that "little bit of laziness" I mentioned gets mad at my use of "little bit" and wants to change it to "a whole shit load of a lot", so I probably won't change/fix a damn thing :P